A Nasty Blow It Was

She was clad in an off green salwar kameez when he first saw her entering the exam hall. An eventful day it was, marred by a forgettable chemistry-II paper & unforgettable memory of hers is strongly etched in his memory even today. Her lively face masked torrent of emotions & an aura of confidence was eminently visible as she found her way to the allotted seat. She sat on the 3rd chair of the immediate row from the entrance while he occupied the 4th chair of the 5th row from the entrance, from where he could distinguish the traces of mane falling across her face & further kissing the blessed answer sheet lying haplessly on the desk. Perhaps she wasn't aware of the events unfolding in the room because of her profound presence. Although both of them sat across the width of examination hall, he sensed a storm brewing up, a storm that cast shadow over his chemistry paper but drew a silver lining on his further stay at the college for next 3 years. Yes! that unplanned meet gave him more than enough to cherish for a better part of his college days. She emerged out of canvas like a beautiful painting and swept him off his feet. Meanwhile, he negotiated her body hugging suit which provided him the luxury of having a clearer picture of her contours, she looked like a distinguished marvel crafted by almighty.

The university examination was underway & he was all set to nail the nasty chemistry. But alas! He couldn't keep his piercing gaze away from her which kept relishing every nook & corner of her partly visible face. Her eyes resembled the one of a fawn, beautiful and large with an aperture big enough to gape across the entire length and width of the paper. Her cheeks were sleek and smooth like well-churned butter, nose were sharp and pointed adorned with beads of sweat (Chennai was certainly a hot place). To top it all, she was blessed with a pair of bee-stung lips of apt size, which were as pink as one could be. She looked simple yet sober without wearing a makeup or an ornament which was enough to mesmerize him. He praised and cursed lord at the same time, the reason for his former act was very much evident as god gave him the luxury to peek at one of his vintage creation and for the later one nothing was much serious about it. His senses were prompt to apprise him about the blow of a backlog which he was going to inflict. Disarrayed & dazed he kept doing what he was best at, gazing at her thoroughly blank. Though a subconscious part of his cerebellum prompted him about the purpose he was there for but that was too light of a call to buzz his senses.

For quite some time, he made few unsuccessful attempts of getting into the examination mould, but things went a bit more awry as presumed. Even the biggest of his virtues gave up on him as he looked completely out of sorts. And there she was unaware of the damage her presence triggered. While the name of paper read chemistry, he had his mind weaving phrases of blissful poetry. And given the way thoughts procreated in his brain, it seemed the shadow of Wordsworth himself dawned upon him. The gloom of her eyes and sleek composure held him prisoner for the entire length of the exam. They kept obliging and he accepted everything with gratitude, it felt so heavenly. In the meantime, he crawled past half way mark through the set of questions. Interestingly, he was completely clueless of her whereabouts but the overwhelmed him didn’t want to miss out on a moment to capture those few auspicious times which were bargained at the price of chemistry paper.  And in a showcase of goodwill gesture he and chem-II signed a MoU that they will see each other next semester.

Back in exam hall she kept switching sides and continued amassing paper after paper as if her life was liable to those wood pulps. But he thrived by making most of the chance thrown at him until time ran out and he lost her in the crowd. She wrote mercilessly, and the haste on her face exposed worries which was very much evident from a distance and that is when he mumbled to himself, “Kitna Likhegi”. He noticed some other silly things that took place at the exam hall like she had no time to take a sip of water, on the contrary, he kept gulping glasses of water fancying his chances to explore more of her.

 By the time exam was completed, her beautifully crafted spell did its trick and left him prostate. Some of the evident consequences like he failing in the paper of chemistry and falling for her at the same time got accomplished. In both cases he was at the receiving end. But amidst all these chaos of mind and soul a silver lining showed up which fetched him a glorious memory to cherish and first real love of his life. He started believing love at first sight and harboured every moment gazing at her. Who knew that such a frivolous incident would lead to a lifelong bonding of love and bliss. Yes!! Those 3 hours unlocked new gateway to life and even today he concedes that it was worth.

a night to cherish..

Yet again the night surrenders itself to another exotic yet sublime twilight and has all the reason to compel me to start all over again. And I seek insomnia so that I can keep romancing this restrained night. A silent and one-sided affair has its own charm when you are aware of a lively response from your counterpart. As I write this into the late hour of the night the sound of tiny droplets of rain patting against my window seizes my attention and the eternal sight of these beads of water slowly gliding towards the entire length of the leaves makes it even more fascinating. In the meanwhile my gaze is pulled towards an acute gleaming substance which turns out to be the edge of a neighbouring leaf soaked in the fluorescent light of the lamp post, and a strong urge of capturing the moment forces me to fiddle with my paper and pen and confiscate every happening.

There is something which every act of theirs has to convey. I know I might sound crazy but I feel like a silent conversation going on between us. Perhaps they have a message for me, and if it is so then I am going to decipher it no matter what it takes. Leaves are cherishing every single drop of water, no matter how firmly it comes down at them. They bask in the charm along with the light and lives every moment till it possibly feels whole bit of the droplet which gently drifts away across it. Not only that they seem to be chit chatting with each other as it can be made out by their shaky appearance, as if rain has come as a pleasant relief for them after all those wrath of continuous heat and dust for weeks. But somewhere there array of tough times didn’t bog their enthusiasm down and they patiently waited for the gates of heaven to open up and now when it finally dawned upon them they are enjoying all its flavor. The tapping sound resembles of them singing in chorus and what it seems like they want me to join their company. But I prefer our silent conversation. You see this is way better than the one which we have with our so called partners night long as so much is at stake in that case. We might end up getting overtensed, overexcited, aroused and so many unwanted symptoms and lastly few awful series of events follow, which goes vice versa. And we wake up in the morning only to find out that so many things were bargained. J but this affair is so divine in itself that there is no room for any of those ugly alternative. It is kind of having one of those silent eye to eye conversation and turns out to be more interesting when one starts reading those eyes silently.

That is why I seek insomnia to stretch this affair a little longer, but alas !!! there is someone who is trying to overcome it and drag me to the hell.. oops that is again a heaven in itself. It seems I am losing it all and migrate to the other world. Hope it won’t take a toll on me J

HUMANS..Worst creation of God ???

God after so much of scrutiny and analysis created we humans and presumed it to be his best craft but alas !!! what he overlooked while assembling the various parts of our body was that he bestowed us with an unethical brain full of longing for materialistic things. And it is this neuropsychology department which works as a driving force for the bulk of disasters taking place around us.

The million dollar question here is : ‘’Do we really need a religion as an accord or for that matter a support to walk freely on the road ?’’. What I fail to fathom is that who are we to create our desired boundaries and castes and religions when the almighty himself didn’t feel the urge to do it. Gradually this termite called religion thing has dug so deep within us that today we have reached a point from where recovery is not an option. Name a region and there are ample amount of facts to support that things have gone way beyond what one would have visualized in their wildest of dreams. Middle east is the burning example of this widely spread cancer. Hindus are after muslims, shias are after sunnis, zews are after muslims, Christians are after jews and vice versa. There is mayhem spread everywhere till be extend our gaze, and that is why the outbreak of riots at muzaffarnagar didn’t come as a surprise to me. The town was burning in flames and politicians were busy playing blame game, thing which they are best at. Ruling party blamed social networking sites and opposition party blames the poor governance. Everyone were busy throwing balls in others court and people were killed in cold blood by one another. Today human lives are compromised in lieu of political seats and power to rule. But things have gone way too far and politics has been made a filthy game.

High time when people start putting value on one another’s life, and understand that this vengeance is a temporary madness controlled by few jokers at the helm and would not yield any goods. Maybe someday humanity will conquer materialism we will again make this world a beautiful place.

Cry of a benumbed soul

66^th independence day celebration was celebrated in high spirits and with so much of bliss. But somewhere down the line there is something which keeps me aloof of these things. The so-called JASHAN and MUBARAKBAAD for India getting her reigns back from Britishers was on but the most imposing question which towers over me is that: why doesn’t these occasions fills me with bliss, why doesn’t the patriotic songs makes my adrenaline go pumping as it used to be in my school days, when unfurling those paper made tricolour meant freedom to me and would charge me up with enormous amount of energy so much so that even the wrath of sun was not enough to bog down my morale and prevent me from standing in those long queues until I collected my share of refreshments which comprised of samosas, little, Rasogollas to name a few.

Come today a 15^th august or a 26^th January is just another day in the calendar for me, which, of course, grabs my attention, for these are gazetted national holidays. Those days soon after coming from school we would leap towards our television set to get a glimpse of prime minister addressing the nation and more over the cultural programs, parades and presentations that followed delighted us and the days’ schedule would be so jam packed with the patriotic movies that used to be aired for the entire day, tiranga, and roza were two movies of that lot which every youth in the 20s would remember  to their full length with every scene in sequence. In short our eyes would be glued to the television sets until the series of programs ended or worst the power connection betrayed. Today I hardly feel there is anything which needs to be given attention to. That is when I ask myself why is it so that these things don’t bother me anymore or for that matter why don’t these occasion fills me within. Is it that I don’t have that patriotic corpuscles being pumped in my vein anymore. 'Why'? Then I suddenly confront an ugly duel deep within me, and I realize that this is not a one-day affair, it is a slow process which has taken its own sweet time to build up.

I might sound insane but when I along with my college friends would gather over a cup of coffee in college canteen then we converse in  our own way by addressing, abusing and teasing pranks on girls, any girl for that matter. It indeed cuts a very sorry figure about us when we become one of the same lot who goes on for candle light march at India Gate making peace protest in the wake of rape incident that stirs our own conscience.

We talk of social inequality, casteism and corruption, but we are the first ones to demolish the rules. Not so long ago I would quote an incident which took place couple of days ago when I was on my way back to my hometown after making an unsuccessful attempt at SSB Bhopal. Time was somewhere around 9 am in the morning, atmosphere was calm, and fresh with nature being at its best as it usually happens during the month of monsoon in this part of the world. Train was half vacant and I was busy going through the day to day happenings from one of the editions of Hindustan times, that is when two RPF men clad in khakis with their rusted and dull looking LMGs(I wondered if it ever fired bullets) came into my compartment and comforted themselves on the adjacent seats. One of them being on the right and the other being in front of me. They started off well with usual chit chats and soon switched to one of the most prominent and talked about topics of today i.e politics and corruption. Soon they moved ahead with their tongue lashing and blame game had already begun, all those talks of corrupt politicians, inefficient system and poor mentality of people were being talked about. Amid of all these policeman sitting next to me tried to drag me into the discussion but I showed no interest. In the meanwhile he helped himself with a few packets of gutkhas from a vendor kid without paying him in lieu of that. To my utter surprise he tore the packet open, ate it and threw the wrapper on the compartment floor. A wicked smile ran across my lips and I gazed at him accusingly. Even he read my intentions but was quick to leave the place. Intentions were loud and clear, people are good till blaming other helps but in the fray most importantly forget their part. And there are many of us unlike those RPF men. We throw garbage on roads and blame municipality for not doing their part, we chose these thieves and murderers and blame them later for not being honest to us. The million dollar question which arises here is: “are we honest to ourselves ?”.

We talk of humanity and unity, tell me how many of us ran to rescue the girl who was eveteased by a few of those road side romeos ? how many of us rushed that man to hospital who was languishing helplessly on roads post accident, just because some silly questions were to be thrown at us at police station ? C’mon give me break, we unfortunately have become part of the lot who loves crying foul everywhere and at the end of the day needs someone like anna hazare and arvind kejriwal to bail us out of this predicament and become our messiah. We have somewhere become a mad dog chasing cars who doesn’t know where is he heading towards. Our concern and responsibility is limited to a comment of facebook and interest is limited to a tweet on twitter. Pakistan breaks the ceasefire and behead our soldiers and we cry foul by posting and sharing their photos and posts. The day is not far when war will be fought online and the winning side will the one with excellent wit. And the government elected by us waits patiently for the next series of unpleasant events to unfold.

But why am I talking about all this. By now most of you have would have made up your mind about me being an arrogant, shrewd or stupid kind of person. But somewhere deep inside these series of incidents have made me numb and that is why august 15^th is just another day in calendar for me.