Ways you can pretend to be busy at work place!

All day’s work & no fun makes Bill a pathetic soul!

Therefore to avoid such misery, Bill practices the art of tricking his supervisors. It projects him as super busy at the workplace. Bill is smart. Be like Bill.

Coming quickly to the point, let’s admit that nobody likes to work thru the day. Given that different office has different work culture these days, employees often find themselves at the receiving end.

At some places, the work schedule sucks while at the other it rocks!

Irrespective of the challenges posed, one must know how to maneuver the professional life efficiently.

All you need to do is bring some simple hacks to practice & there you are, forged into the carcass of a super busy individual.

Statutory warning: Practice them to perfection, because if it backfires, it can get you fired!

Pretend to look for something

Office & its spaces are usually packed up and offer a lot of places to loiter around. But have you ever thought that your desk space could also keep you engaged.

Just keep flipping through the bulky files & documents. Don’t forget that you have been allocated a desk that houses few cabinets as well.

Stand by the Xerox machine

Xerox machine is usually stationed in one of the corners of the workspace. It also serves as the fulcrum around which folks in the office usually revolve.

For the better part of the day, the flashing green & yellow light of the machine attracts quite a few eyeballs in the office.

So even if you aren’t really occupied, you can make-up to be collecting the all-important Xerox copies from the machine.

On your toes

A lazy walking posture cuts a sorry figure of you. Needless to say, the office is the last place to act so insipidly.

Walk straight, and move around in haste, that way you are busy and won’t attract penetrating stares.

Move in the company of random junk

You see how junk helps you overcome your miseries!

Not a foolproof idea but moving around with a scrap or a random office property can certainly project you as an individual who is quite engrossed in his job.

Needless to say, it keeps you busy too.

A head massage might help

A dependable move for those who has mastered this art! In this case, you have to wear an intense look accompanied by an involved rubbing of the temple.

It would certainly provide the much-needed break. The visibly distressed look on your face would shield you from being assigned to any probable short-term task from your boss!

Keep talking or at least, mumble to yourself

As a kid, we were taught to read-out-aloud to by-heart the task given at school.

I, being a spoiled kid shouted-out-aloud to make my parents believe that I was studying even when I didn’t feel like.

Decades later today I am a working professional but things haven’t changed drastically.

The only difference is that I don’t shout-out-aloud at the same frequency.

Fake talking on the phone

Yeah, if you are an HR or handle a profile that covers considerable about of calling then this could be your perfect bypass.

Get hold of the receiver located on your desk & pretend that you are speaking with a client or candidate.

Maybe that way you could buy yourself few moments of comfort- an escape from the prying eyes of your boss.

And suddenly you’ll realize that the day is over much before you actually thought.

Upcoming Hollywood flicks that you just can't wait to watch!

2016 it is!

It’s going to be an action-packed year for Hollywood! Given the fun & the element of excitement that the forthcoming movies bring, an adrenaline rush is at least guaranteed.

By the time you near the end of this write-up, you would agree to call it a marvelous year for marvel.

You are therefore strictly advised to bring home a piggy bank & begin with your savings straight away!

So, brace yourself for the forthcoming attractions, which will not only bring you to the edge of the seat but would also give you a lot to talk about.

1. Captain America: Civil War

Captain America & Ironman fighting it out was the last thing that I ever expected. Thanks to Marvel, they have brought out the biased me in open.

Behold the epic encounter between the Avengers as friends turn into foes! I am with Ironman. Whose side are you on?

2. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman & Spiderman bring you another epic encounter! Courtesy: Zack Snyder.  Believe me, when I say that you are up for a great treat this time as well.

3. X-Men

Apocalypse: The 9th Edison of the X-Men series promises all the elements of excitement as mutants advance in pursuit to wipe out humanity and create a new world for themselves.

4. Kung Fu Panda 3

After giving us two mega blockbusters, the American-Chinese action comedy will see Po reuniting with his father in this edition. That will not be all; this movie is stuffed with fun & promises laughter riot. You better mark your calendar straight away.

5. Suicide Squad

The superhero film is based on the DC Comics antihero team of the same name. It is intended to be the third installment in the DC Extended Universe. It stars Will Smith, Jared Leto and Margot Robbie among others.

6. Independence Day Resurgence

Finally after a two-decade hiatus, the sequel of epic Hollywood movie Independence Day will be released. The sci-fi film intends to showcase the impeccable defense system of the earth to fight the alien power. Are we good enough to withstand the aliens? Find out for yourself.

7. Deadpool

Seems like marvel is on a spree of successfully converting its comics character into a superhero. Wade Wilson was subjected to an experiment that leaves him with a disfigured body and an unstable mind. He is on a hunt to bring down the man who nearly destroyed him.

8. The Legend of Tarzan

The plot revolves around the fictional character of Tarzan. As he leaves the jungle to spend a life with his wife only to be dragged back to the testing conditions. The star-studded cast of Christoph Waltz, Margot Robbie & Samuel Jackson await you with another gripping plot.

9. Doctor Strange

A doctor turns into a healer! In yet another adaptation of one of its comics characters Marvel brings you, Doctor Strange. You see how an incident can change the course of one’s life!

10. Mechanic Resurrection

Yo! One of the classiest assassins of the modern era returns to the celluloid. Jason Statham marks his arrival as the Mechanic in the sequel to the 2011 global hit. This is how it’s done!

11. The jungle book

As a kid, we fashioned this kid clad in leaves & bark from trees. An orphan boy is raised in the Jungle amidst a pack of wolves, a bear, and a black panther. Get ready to watch him impersonating your fantasy into life.

12. 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

Inspired by a true incident, this is an enthralling tale of a badass military operation when militants attacked a U.S. diplomatic compound on September 11, 2012

13. Hail, Caesar!

This isn’t another periodical Hollywood movie; rather it’s about a studio that tries to keep up with its stars. The magical melodrama comes alive with the enchanting duo of the flamboyant George Clooney & the gorgeous Scarlett Johansson.

14. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny

Brace yourself for more action as a band of legendary warriors gear up to protect a 400-year-old sword.

Haven't you already started working on your checklist?

AIB Knockout Roast: Deliciously Roasted

I was a bit late to have watched the A!B Knockout Roast with Ranveer Singh & Arjun Kapoor. Honestly, like many of our hypocrite countrymen I didn’t feel offended, not for a second because the show was made up of something that matched our taste & justified the liking of millions of Indian. No, please don’t misunderstand me for an asshole but we do have an affinity for the dirty & obscene things. The only problem with us is that we don’t have the balls to embrace things openly because that robs us of the ‘so called’ tag of the decent guy. What the fuck! We have landed ourselves in such a fucked-up situation that today even talking filthy is offensive but committing filth is not! When I say ‘we’, I mean we Indians here.

Let me tell you frankly today that we are so much obsessed with Hollywood movies that we barely have an issue watching the Hollywood actors naked showing their assets & teaching us the basic nuances kissing & fondling. I wonder how many boxes of tissue papers have these Hollywood movies accounted for. Words like Pussy, Cunt, Asshole, Dick & Fuck sounds too yo-yo to us. In fact, these words have successfully replaced our conventional exclamatory words. On the contrary, if you spoke Choot, Lund, Gand you will be taken for a national level offender. Motherfucker sounds like we have been conferred with ultra modern tag but dare you to say Madarchod to anyone. Your addressee will straight away pounce on you & grab you by your neck as if you really meant every alphabet of the word.

Jokes apart the #AIBRoast was really a knockout of a show & certainly won hearts of the millions except for those meddlers who feel offended every time someone farts louder, louder than the calibrated noise level which they have predefined as the standard limit. If you ask me I was really awed by their creativity, which they stuffed in their 5 minutes script. They were loud, they were rude, they were filthy & full of sarcasm, but to top it all they were creative & rocked every single moment of their presence on stage.

For the past 3-4 days, the AIB show has been the newsmaker & Karan Johar along with his elite panel is being lambasted for being such obscene & filthy. The government has even set up an enquiry into this & has denounced this act. Eminent politicians & members of censor board have urged a ban on the widespread video of the show that has gone viral. My only question to our Nakli government is that ‘Dude don’t you have other priorities at hand? Your rapists are roaming on street possibly waiting for their next prey. Your government office is full of corrupt babus, your ministers are perverts & murderers, your poor citizens are dying out in cold & out of everything in the world you found this useless shit to be put on your priority probe. If you really want to find a logical solution to these problems, then I guess you must ban all the English movies, English channels on TV & above all the Internet. I guess that will suffice your needs, right! What #AIBRoast did was a sheer display of humor & wit. And after all they did this for a cause because their raised amount went to the foundation serving poorly.

Dear fellow countrymen & those offended by the #AIBRoast, it's high time we did the rethinking & voiced our support for the right. And Government of India! You really suck, I am still waiting for the day when you will start addressing the real plague of our society.

All India Backchod, you guys rock!

For those who haven't watched it here watch it here

Main toh Superman, Salmaan ka fan!

At the outset let me extend my greetings to Kausar Munir, the lyricist of the hit number from the upcoming Bollywood flick Tevar(the song is already ruling the charts) . A well versed man who has exercised his high level of wit by paying a befitting ode to the megastar of Hindi Cinema. Given the quirky nature of the song, I sat down to decipher its lyrics in my own way. 

Much to the liking of the choreographer, the song begins with the leading actor(Arjun Kapoor) flexing his muscles claiming that he fears no one. With the daredevil punk cold intent in his eyes, he seems to be serious, really! He goes on to acknowledge that he is the superman & also a Salmaan’s fan. Quite evident! given the kind of stature that the actor has harnessed over the years, he is definitely one of the most decorated artists in the industry today. The song pays an apt tribute to the rockstar, infact the song places him above one of the most powerful superhero, when the lyrics of the song reads, “Main toh Superman, Salmaan ka fan”. Technically if Supermen is a fan of Salmaan then certainly his highness must be above Superman himself. I would be lying if I didn't mention that the song has been sort of a monologue written in praise of Salmaan Khan.

The song is out in stores & is already a hit, if not less. And you know how things are made a bigger hit these days, ofcourse by promoting it on national TV! Promotional activity is more of a common sight these days. At first the entire cast of a cinema work really hard to make a decent movie & then climb the stage of various reality shows to promote their work. They  literally beg you to go & watch their cinema. Don't they? At times people do get beguiled & waste their hard earned money on some pathetic movie & thus the show goes on!

Mr. Khan, as a person certainly has a heart carved out of gold but that doesn't make him a demigod either. Being an ardent fan of music I hold quality music in high esteem, but when you try to do too many things you mess the things up. Meanwhile I have no intent to pull the legs of lyricist saheb, that was just an arbitrary point of view. 

On the contrary being a Salmaan fan can fetch you the coveted title of Superman, by corollary method. No doubt after listening to this song millions of Sallu fans would have started getting a feel of their swollen chest with sheer pride, these are the little things which filmy Indians take pride in. It also grants them an edge when comparing their favourite star with the likes of other khans. Anyways, a song is a good song until folks enjoy it. And Salmaan has another reason to be proud of himself. I wish the film all the luck & just hope that Superman fans don't get offended & ask for a ban on the film or file a lawsuit in the Mumbai high court.

Read more about Tevar

PK and Hue & Cry of Hindu Chauvinists

Last few days have kept me slightly occupied, initially it was the déjà vu of my upcoming 15 days vacation, which makes it the first in over an year and subsequently the works which were stashed before me tended to be cleared before i started chilling out. Other being the acquisition of my latest crush (MacBook Pro) for which called for research and comparisons in its own way, as most of us would do before purchasing an expensive gadget. Resultant there was not so much of social involvement from my end and therefore I couldn't keep a tab on Aamir Khan starring & perhaps the most awaited movie of 2014, PK. Thus I was not much aware about the furore that occurred in the aftermath of the movie. Today after successfully completing my 20 hrs-stretched-to-36 hrs-journey I reached my hometown & followed the stories covering all the useless unrest that has brewed up. I found out that it has done nothing but added to the already swelling TRP of the movie.

The film is raking moolah at box office and if stats are to be believed then the film becomes first cinema of independent India to amass 182 crores before entering into the 2nd week of its release. While people from all walks of life and followers of every religion have watched it with glee & perhaps enjoyed the movie too, some of the pseudo-intellectuals among us are busy politicising this movie. 

At the outset let me tell you that I am a Hindu and I am proud to be one. But staunchness is not my ilk, neither do I proclaim to be a secular. But that doesn't mean I have no regard for other religions. I don't get the point that why do people feel offended when someone's intent is confined to entertainment only. The self proclaimed godmen cum criminals like Nirmal baba and Swami Rampal have worked their ass out to create a despicable identity for themselves. These hate mongers don't think for a second before abducting a woman and subjecting her to physical torture and mental trauma. Some of them are behind bars while others have impregnable fortress to breach. If I were to opine then I would say that I just see this topic gain momentum because the protagonist is a muslim actor, that’s the reason they are bit too offended. I must say that you would die laughing if I told you that the reason behind all these anti PK slogans is that actor is running after a look alike of mythological hindu god, Lord Shiva. Suddenly the pro-hindu parties and the saffron cloak draped Babas feel their sentiments have been hurt. First it was Shankaracharya and today Baba Ramdev too expressed his displeasure against the message that this movie carries.

Dear Babas and other intellectuals I just hope you know that burning effigies and tearing posters will only add to the skyrocketing popularity of the movie. You are merely showcasing your much anticipated outrage against the makers of the movie because after ‘Oh my God’, this is another movie trying to expose your stark reality. Just because there was little pun intended you can’t claim a nation wide ban on the movie. After all they don't rob, loot, traumatise or rape in real life unlike you.

All about PK: IMDB